Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard in Times Square with your face on it. (Desiree Panlilio)
“Don’t say anything online that you wouldn’t want plastered on a billboard in Times Square with your face on it.” This was my golden rule for my teens. At first glance, it might seem a tad dramatic, but is it really? In today’s world, where every screenshot, every post has the potential to spiral into drama, gossip, or worse, it’s a reminder that what we share can have far-reaching consequences. As parents, we know that dealing with the aftermath of online missteps is a territory we’d rather avoid. So, let’s discuss the art of minimizing what our teens post, steering them towards mindful engagement, and forging conversations about privacy, trust, and self-worth in the digital realm.
Screenshots have a way of creating a cascade of drama, and as a parent we would rather not be navigating the aftermath of a wrongly shared screenshot of our teen’s text. In the intricate web of teenage interactions, screenshots have become the fuel for drama. A single comment or post can be screen-captured, shared, and spark a backlash of gossip, bullying, or one-upmanship. Navigating this landscape is like walking on eggshells, but it’s essential to minimize what our teens post. As parents, we can unanimously agree that navigating such a storm is neither easy nor desirable. It’s a delicate balance between enabling them to express themselves and safeguarding them from the potential repercussions. Here is where communication, listening with curiosity, and pushing your teen’s critical thinking skills are so important. It is also a moment where as a parent we are channeling our inner calm as we navigate this discussion
The heart of the social media conversation lies in the reasons for selective sharing. First, stress that not everyone is a friend, and not everyone deserves an invitation into the personal spheres of their life. Encourage your teen to build personal relationships founded on trust and share their private life with a select few. This sets the stage for a discussion about what is trust and friendship, and what is a good friend. Address the fundamental fact that not everyone is a friend. Trust isn’t universal, and your teen’s personal life isn’t meant for public consumption. There will always be the teen who likes to gossip, create drama and be the mean girl. I often wonder if people ever grow out of those roles, but that is another topic.
Safety in the digital age is a concern that can’t be ignored. Strangers can morph into potential threats. With merely a few clicks, your teen will follow them, and that is not what parents want. The less your teen reveals, the more control they retain over their narrative. Teach your teen the importance of privacy settings and the art of not oversharing. Discuss the significance of not disclosing locations or personal details to prevent any potential stalking or manipulation. Talk about social media exposure and what you as a family are comfortable with. DIscuss sharing location, understand that in today’s world sharing a location is like calling all your friends to meet you somewhere. Friends will see that a small group is at a location and then others will join the group. A mutually agreed-upon arrangement regarding following or friending their accounts can cultivate a sense of trust while maintaining a watchful eye.
As a parent, discuss that your teen should never share sensitive information like full names, addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, passwords, and financial data. Although this might seem like common sense, the digital realm is teeming with scams and scammers. By laying out these principles plainly, you arm your teen with a steadfast shield against potential pitfalls.
Privacy isn’t just about keeping the world at bay; it’s about preserving your teen’s sanity and peace of mind. It empowers them to step away from the drama that often swirls around social media. Your teen can cease to be defined by others’ reactions and form a deeper bond with their own self-worth. It’s true that managing social media with our teens can feel like a perpetual tug-of-war, with victories and defeats on both sides. The vital aspect is to maintain an open line of communication, addressing social media within the context of your family values. Social media is not going away, so it is about protecting our teens, their mental health and self worth.
My final thought is that social media is intricate, rife with challenges and opportunities alike. As parents, our role isn’t to shield our teens from the online world but to prepare them for it. By fostering trust, cultivating safety consciousness, and championing the power of privacy, we empower our teens to navigate this complex landscape with wisdom and grace. Engage them in conversations that challenge their perspectives and encourage introspection. Remind them that while social media and engagement has its merits, a mindful approach safeguards their peace, self-worth, and values.