Some people are worth melting for.
– Olaf
“Silent Night” is a song we all know for the holiday season. What is amazing to me are the number of versions of the song, almost 750! It is the most recorded Christmas song in history. I imagine that for some it is the comfort of the song that they have grown up with. I am not sure what version I am familiar with, or if I would be able to really tell the difference between some of the versions. What is thought provoking is that the song, just like us as humans, has changed and evolved over time. I am sure there are some not-so-great versions and some classical versions. I think it is much like how we grow as individuals. Some of growth is wonderful and some is difficult and we struggle to see where the better version of ourselves really is.
Over this holiday take the time to think about your growth over the past year, I know we are all creating a better version of who we are. As we grow in knowledge our outlook on the world changes and we are able to discuss our new ideals and values with a new level of knowledge.
Now take that opportunity to talk with your teen on how they have grown over the past year. I know that our teens are rapidly evolving and changing who they are. One day our teen may be part of the cool group, then the party group, the gamer group, or mean girl group as they try to find the best version of themselves. They are developing a sense of who they are, what their values are, and what is important to them. Our job as their parent, mentor, role model or life coach is to help them through the process. To let them know that this uncertainty and rapid change of versions of who they are and who their friend group is really normal. It is all about defining who they are, and how to create the success that your teen wants in high school.
Perhaps the question to ask your teen, “what was the most challenging moment for you this year?” If they struggle with the answer, share what was your biggest challenge or struggle as you grow into the best version of yourself. It may not be this earth shattering realization. I can share that for me, it has been finding my way back to consistent exercise. It has been creating the mindset that I am a runner, and runners run consistently. For me that is running three days a week and slowly increasing my distance. The goal is to run 3 miles three times a week. When I started I think I ran 400 meters before I was exhausted. It has been a challenge to push myself to do this, but as I continued to run, it became my habit and part of my morning routine that I look forward to. Was that my only challenge or change I made? No, but it opens up the dialogue with my teens. So take the time to talk about personal growth through self-reflection and how you are continually creating a better version of yourself.