It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Who doesn’t enjoy a good road trip? The drive, the leaving the
responsibilities of home and work behind you. Being able to focus on the
conversation and building the relationship with your teenager. What a great way to
have intentional time together. Pick a college campus your teen would like to visit.
Map out the route, including driving around the surrounding area of the campus. It
is all an opportunity to spend valuable time with your teen. But what do you talk
about? You already know your teen likes this campus so what am I focusing on?
What is the conversation about?
Ask your teenager what kind of education they want after high school. Talk
about the freedom and responsibility college brings. Ask what excited them about
this college. Is it dorm life, Greek life, focusing their academic studies on their
passion? Is it not having their younger siblings around? It is all about what they
want or think the experience should or will be? Don’t be Debbie Downer, you and
your teen are in the exploration phase, fact gathering building the relationship. Any
misconceptions they have about college or you have will be answered by formal
college tours at a later date. Make this about spending time with your teen.
Road trips are great for tackling heavy subjects. While your eyes are on the
road, your teen might feel more comfortable opening up about life topics. Ask your
teen what challenges they are encountering right now. Ask your teenager how they
are handling this struggle. Do not offer advice, or try to manage, solve and move on
from the struggle. Your teen does not want to be managed. They want to be able to
share their thoughts, their solutions, and what pathway or options they are thinking
about. I encourage you to ask questions that help your teen to clarify the situation,
such as, “How did that make you feel?”, or “What makes you think _ will work?”
It is building their critical thinking skills and helping them decide how to solve their
challenges.
All of this is about building the relationship between you and your teenager.
It involves intentional time spent together where the focus is your teenager and
their personal growth. After all we are not raising kids, we are creating the next
generation of adults that we are entrusting the future to. We want them to have the
confidence and tools required to create the success they want to have in their life.