The Earth has music for those who listen. (William Shakespeare)
Be honest: How much time do you spend staring at a screen each day? For most Americans it is around 10 hours. Our increasing reliance on technology, combined with a global trend toward urban living, means many of us are spending less time outdoors. What a great opportunity to spend some time outside with your teenager. If you are brave enough perhaps an overnight camping excursion, if not a day of hiking or biking with a picnic lunch is a great opportunity to be outside. Exposure to nature has been linked to a host of benefits, including improved attention, lower stress, better mood, and even upticks in empathy and cooperation. So many benefits to being outside with your teen. It is also an added opportunity to unplug and enjoy the outdoors and spending time together. It is a great way to breathe deep, enjoy the sounds of nature and explore “fierce” conversations with your teenager while you hike, bike or camp.
A great conversation starter while in nature is to talk about the wonder of nature. Share your thoughts on creation and man’s place in the world. It is a philosophical discussion but also a chance to focus on your values, your teen values and topics that are of interest to each of you. It is also not digging into your teen’s personal life but exploring what and how they are thinking about themselves, their values and perception of mankind. With this topic on the table it is easy to steer the conversation toward topics that are really important or may be the opportunity to discuss some more controversial topics. It is a great time to discuss dating, curfew, chores, any subject that may become emotional. I somehow feel nature allows or that calm to remain in us as we discuss these more emotional topics. Or it just may be that I was trying to catch my breath and couldn’t trigger my teen with one of those statements I would have to later apologize for. Whatever the case, nature is a great opportunity to have conversations.
I also found that my teenagers were more open to sharing information when I am not staring at them waiting for an answer. When you are outdoors it seems things move slower, your teen or you can take your time in responding to the last comment. It is the opportunity to have a longer pause to really absorb, consider and take the conversation deeper with your teenager. Remember to remind yourself that the goal of the conversation is to build the relationship with your teenager and to build trust. It is not about creating conflict and “pushing” your ideas and methodology on your teen. It is about helping them to build communication and critical thinking skills.