I’m pickin’ up good vibrations. (Beach Boys song lyric).
Yes, it’s summer and that means the rules of engagement around screen time often shift in ways both big and small. With no early morning alarms, no homework looming over them, and more unstructured time, your teenager might find themselves drifting toward more time online than you’re comfortable with. It’s natural for parents to wonder: Should I limit screen time during the summer? Should I take the phone at night? Should I turn off the Wi-Fi? I get those questions all the time. And here’s the truth: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
What I encourage is a conversation. One where you and your teen sit down, talk about your expectations, and figure out a plan for how screen time is going to look in your house this summer. The most important part is that the plan is made together because when teens are involved in creating the rules, they are far more likely to follow them. And if those expectations are clear, the consequences for breaking them should be too. The goal is to encourage accountability and mutual respect, not a battle of wills.
Now, let’s talk about what’s really going on: social media. According to recent studies, the average teenager spends around 4.8 hours per day on social media platforms alone, not including other screen time like video games or streaming shows. Multiply that over a week and it’s easy to see how the hours can add up. That’s a lot of time not being spent engaging with the real world, trying new things, or developing skills that build long-term resilience and confidence.
Social media isn’t just a time filler. It shapes how teens see themselves and the world. They are constantly flooded with content: short clips, eye-catching sound bites, and rapid-fire information designed to hold attention for just seconds. This kind of hyper-engagement can chip away at their ability to focus deeply, research thoroughly, or process information critically. And when their worldview is based on headlines, memes, and TikToks they haven’t fact-checked, it’s hard for them to hold thoughtful, informed conversations. It’s even harder to understand another person’s point of view, especially if it challenges what they’ve been passively absorbing online.
All of this can contribute to surface-level thinking and even lead to the breakdown of relationships. Without a foundation of thoughtful conversation and critical thinking, disagreements become battles instead of discussions, and we see a rise in defensiveness, cancel culture, and fractured friendships. As parents, we want to raise teens who can not only hold their own in a conversation but can do so with empathy, resilience, and a firm grasp of the facts.
So, what can they do instead?
Let’s be real. Not every teen is going to jump at the idea of putting down their phone and picking up a paper book. But sometimes they just need the right nudge or a little inspiration. Here are a few summer screen-free (or screen-limited) ideas that encourage growth, creativity, and meaningful connection:
1. Read a Real Book.
Not on a Kindle or a phone. A real, tangible book they can dog-ear and mark up. Let them choose the topic. It doesn’t have to be “educational” – graphic novels, fantasy, biographies, mysteries, or even cookbooks. Better yet, try a family book club. Read together, then talk about it over dinner. And don’t forget to check in with your teen’s school to see if there are any summer reading requirements they can get a head start on.
2. Get Outside.
It sounds simple, but getting a teen outdoors can feel like an Olympic event. Start with curiosity and ask them if there’s somewhere nearby they’d like to explore. A park? A hiking trail? A new part of town? Encourage them to plan the outing themselves within boundaries you set (like cost, time, and distance). Add an incentive, maybe a stop at a fun restaurant afterward. When you’re walking together, disconnected from devices, conversations tend to flow more freely. You’ll be surprised what your teen shares when there’s no agenda and no distractions.
3. Bring Back Game Night.
Board games aren’t just for little kids. A game of “Clue” or “Ticket to Ride” can challenge your teen in ways that are both fun and strategic. And no you don’t need to let them win anymore! The time spent laughing and teasing around a table is valuable bonding time. Try card games, too. Teach them poker, gin rummy, or how to shuffle a deck like a pro. It’s fun, it’s screen-free, and it creates moments of connection.
4. Cook Something New.
Teens need to learn how to cook not just to survive in college or after high school, but to feel capable and independent. Start with a simple meal. Let them choose a recipe, make a shopping list, and cook it themselves. It might not be perfect, and that’s okay. Part of the fun is in the failures, just keep the pizza delivery number handy. Eventually, they’ll find confidence and maybe even a favorite dish to master.
5. Create Something Physical.
Help them turn their social media obsession into something tangible. Encourage them to print out their favorite Instagram photos and make a collage for their wall. This becomes a personal piece of art, something to take pride in. If college is on the horizon, that collage makes a great dorm decoration and a comforting reminder of home and friendships.
6. Volunteer or Find a Summer Job.
Many schools require volunteer hours for graduation, and summer is a great time to get them done. Let your teen pick a cause that matters to them; whether it’s animals, the environment, kids, or the elderly. Not only will it fill their time with purpose, but it can also boost confidence and develop real-world skills. Similarly, a part-time summer job teaches responsibility, time management, and the value of money,lessons that can’t be learned through scrolling.
7. Practice SAT/ACT Prep.
It’s not the most exciting way to spend a summer afternoon, but building in small chunks of time each week for test prep can make a big difference. There are plenty of great (and free) online tools available. Schedule study time like it’s a job, then reward it with something fun afterward. This balance builds discipline while still giving your teen the freedom of summer.
8. Learn a New Skill or Hobby.
Encourage your teen to pick one new thing to learn this summer, anything from painting to skateboarding to coding. They don’t need to become an expert, but the act of trying something new builds resilience and stretches their comfort zone. There are local classes, online tutorials, and community programs available, many of them free or low-cost.
9. Help Them Practice Being Bored.
Yes, boredom is uncomfortable. But it’s also where creativity lives. Instead of jumping in to solve the problem when your teen says, “I’m bored,” ask them what they could do. Let them sit in the discomfort a little. Often, that’s where the best ideas are born. Boredom builds self-direction and resilience and those are skills they’ll need their whole life.
10. Keep the Conversation Going.
At the heart of all of this is your relationship with your teen. None of these ideas will work if your teen feels like they’re being forced into something without their voice being heard. Talk with them. Listen more than you speak. Ask them what they want this summer to look like, and where they see themselves by the end of it. These open conversations build trust and allow you to guide them with love instead of control.
As summer stretches on, the balance between freedom and structure can feel tricky. Social media isn’t the enemy, but too much of it, without boundaries or reflection, can chip away at the deeper skills our teens need to grow into thoughtful, resilient, and independent adults. By offering meaningful alternatives, staying involved, and fostering real conversations, we help our teens make choices that support their personal development.
So, when you’re tempted to just take the phone away, pause and start a conversation instead. Invite your teen to help create a summer that’s not just about passing time but about making memories, learning skills, and growing in ways that will last well beyond the season.
Because ultimately, we’re not just raising students. We’re raising future adults and summer is a wonderful season to guide them on that journey.