Some little things are always going to nag me, but I’ve learned to deal with it. (T.J.Oshie).

Nagging can be a daily challenge for parents, and it’s easy to fall into when we’re balancing busy schedules and responsibilities. Yet, when we focus on setting clear expectations, understanding our teens’ priorities, and picking our battles, we can communicate more effectively and strengthen our relationship with them. Here are three strategies to help reduce the urge to nag and create a more peaceful, respectful dynamic with your teen.

Set Clear Expectations with your teen. One of the main reasons nagging starts is a lack of clarity around what’s expected. If our teens don’t know exactly what we want or by when, we may end up repeating ourselves out of frustration. Setting clear expectations helps minimize confusion. Be direct, specific, and realistic: “The garbage truck comes tomorrow, so make sure all the trash is taken out tonight before bed and the bins are on the curb.” With this clear communication, your teen knows what needs to be done and by when, eliminating the need for reminders and reducing frustration.

Remember That Life Happens and to pause before responding. What’s urgent for us may not feel like a priority for our teens, especially when they’re juggling school, social life, and other activities. Keeping this in mind can help us stay flexible and recognize when some requests may need to be adjusted. For instance, if they’re swamped with a chemistry lab due tomorrow, piling on additional chores might lead to unnecessary stress or resistance. By recognizing their responsibilities, we demonstrate empathy, teaching our teens that we respect their time and goals. This approach fosters mutual respect, helping to reduce the need for nagging.

Pick Your Battles Wisely. Not every request needs to become a point of contention. There are times when letting go of minor issues can create a more harmonious home. For example, while a messy room might drive you crazy, if it’s not an immediate problem, it might be better to address it calmly later or at a scheduled time. Picking your battles ensures that when you do ask something of your teen, it’s for something genuinely important. By choosing wisely, you save energy and communicate that you respect their autonomy, which can reduce resistance and foster a healthier relationship.

Instead of leading to frustration and arguments, these practices can help create an environment where communication is prioritized and both you and your teen feel heard. Sign up for my blog to read in-depth discussions on each of these skills, and let’s work toward building a less chaotic and more connected relationship with our teens.